they say that there is  time and reason for things...  maybe this is so, but i also believe in keeping friendships at the very least.  maybe, not everyone is here to stay...  i am deeply saddened by the fact that M and i are no longer friends...  it saddens me because, we were once planning a lifetime but now not only is the lifetime gone but so has the friendship.  i go through life knowing that it is a risk.  we gamble everyday...  i also know that in life, you win some, you lose some but it doesnt make me bitter or hard... when things were starting with M and i, i was in such a dilema because of my situation but i risked everything for him to try to see where it would lead to...  forever you one said, but where's forever now.  im not bitter that its not us in the end, im sad by your inability to be so shallow and to let your anger get in the way of what was once a good friendship that we had shared.  you once said to me, "no matter what happens, you will always be special."  right now, i have already forgiven you for what you did and if i had it my way, i'd let bygones be bygones and keep our friendship, but life doesnt always go my way...  i know that when we started, things were not at the best situation for us to get together but somewhere along the way, i made the path right but we never got together...  somewhere along that way, i remember everything we shared, everything we agreed upon and i remember that you once loved me...  that is the greatest memory i have.  so to you, M, i am not bitter about things not working out between us... maybe thats the way it was meant to be...  i have no regrets...  too bad though coz the lifetime that you had wanted could have happened, we could have shared that great friendship for life...  but you let your immaturity get in the way of it...  such a waste...