its funny what life brings, thats a line that i always use...  coz its true...  its funny how my life has turned out to be from who i am as a child, as a teenager, and now as an adult...  this year will be one hell of a challenge...  not yet mid way through the year and so many things have happened.  i think that my growth for the first few months of this year can be summed up to a whole years growth.  to think were only on the fourth month!  woohoo boy!  what a year its going to be!  

spoke to a friend last night.  we haven't really really been in touch as much as i have wanted but some things are beyond my control.  i realized that last night was going to be one of the last conversations we are ever going to have.  im happy that he has found his happiness and that he is settling down but it saddens me to know that i'll be loosing a friend.  maybe i wont be loosing a friend but what good is it if he isnt allowed to talk to be, even for a harmless conversation, friend to a friend.  its just sad.   there's nothing that i can and and that he can do.  we both agreed to this but i never thought that it would actually happened.  you see, his soon to be wife doesnt really  want him to get in touch with me.  it sucks but so is life...  then again, if i look at is as how things have turned out, we'll never really know whats going to happen.  maybe, just maybe, its gonna be different.  so to you P, good look and i wish you all the best.  im gonna miss our drinks and our conversations!
 

let me end this with Closing Cycles by Paolo Cohelo

One always has to know when a stage comes to and end.  If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. 
Closing cyckes, shutting doors, ending chapters, whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of tlife that have finished. Did you lose your job?  Has a loving relationship come to an end?  Did you leave your parents' house?  Gone to live abroad?  Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?  You can spend time wondering why this has happened.  You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that.  But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved:  your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.  None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the tings that happen to us.  What has passed will not return:  we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive and affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.  Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.  That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.  Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some roon for other memories to take their place.  Let things go.  Release them.  Detach yourself form them.  Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose.  Do not expect anything in return, do nt expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.  Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss:  that is only poisoning you, nothing else.  Nothin is more dangerous that not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised byt there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for their ideal moment.  Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished:  tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.  Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person.  Nothing is irreplaceable.  A habit is not a need.  This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.  Closing cycles, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.  Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.  Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.